You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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