Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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