What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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