I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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