You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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