Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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