My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
