I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize