But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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