Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
