I have demons in me.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
