When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
