Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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