Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
