saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be still, my beating vagina.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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