By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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