another moral hangover. fuck.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
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