How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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