He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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