I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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