Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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