i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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