it wasn't lemon gatorade
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i wish my penis had a tongue
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I supernannyed him into submission
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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