1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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