it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Randomize
