Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
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He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
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I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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