This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
