If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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