i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
