he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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