4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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