i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
