what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
