u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
