I accidentally burped into my bong.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
