We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
i believe in u and ur pee
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
