dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
