Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
