He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
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Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
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If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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