I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
