Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Redeem this text for a blowjob
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
