butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
