I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
