I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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