So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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