He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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