You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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