Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
