R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
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naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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