oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize