My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
