haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
