I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
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Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
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Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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