Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Randomize
