Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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