omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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