if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
