Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
