oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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