just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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