Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
