Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize