I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
