Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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