Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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