he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
