i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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