Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
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just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
There r osticjed everywhere
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
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I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize