alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
